{"id":1086,"date":"2018-01-21T17:34:38","date_gmt":"2018-01-22T01:34:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thezachproject.us\/?p=1086"},"modified":"2018-01-21T17:35:51","modified_gmt":"2018-01-22T01:35:51","slug":"zach-after-zero-dark-thirty","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thezachproject.us\/index.php\/2018\/01\/21\/zach-after-zero-dark-thirty\/","title":{"rendered":"Zach after Zero Dark Thirty"},"content":{"rendered":"

Zach has an entry for this date, January 21, in 2013. It was MLK Monday that year. He has some angst about his job, but then he tells of going to see the movie Zero Dark Thirty<\/em> on the previous Saturday. It didn’t make his ‘list’ but he did say it was engrossing.<\/p>\n

Then he goes on with this:<\/p>\n

\n

What can\u2019t be argued, however, is how it made me felt…I know this isn\u2019t exactly the greatest example, but it made me feel, as I have many times before, insignificant and wanting to be a part of something greater in my life. \u00a0Watching a team of navy seals and the intense training and preparation they show…I\u2019m envious. \u00a0Watching a recreation of a meeting of CIA and national security personnel…I\u2019m envious. \u00a0Hell, in a weird, horribly perverse way, I\u2019m envious of watching a group of analysts sit around at a conference table. \u00a0It\u2019s the feeling that I want to be a part of something bigger, something greater than what I currently am. \u00a0To be around intense individuals who want something bigger in their life. \u00a0This feeling moved me to go back and read a long passage I wrote when I was coming home from Colorado last summer that nicely captured this same feeling. \u00a0It\u2019s still there, and at a greater level than it was last summer, as my dissatisfaction with my job and work environment has amplified. \u00a0Even today, while I was at work, I had a short risk\/reward calculation in my brain of <\/span><\/span><\/span>not doing certain tasks and whether I could get away with not doing them<\/span><\/span><\/span>. \u00a0How horrible is that? \u00a0In the same light, I just literally texted someone how I wished I could be in a professional position where <\/span><\/span><\/span>someone would just tell me what to do because I was sick of trying to make decisions on what was important at work<\/span><\/span><\/span>. \u00a0I don\u2019t feel inadequate; I KNOW I am inadequate, with what I am doing with my life. \u00a0Maybe that\u2019s an overstatement. \u00a0What I do know, however, is that I just spent 15 minutes looking over jobs at the CIA wondering if I should apply to certain programs… I just feel like I\u2019m soft at life.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

What\u2019s hilarious about all this? \u00a0The federal government and the CIA is rarely known for its ability to do things really well or for having a strong, effective, efficient work environment. \u00a0LOL. \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Zach has an entry for this date, January 21, in 2013. It was MLK Monday that year. He has some angst about his job, but then he tells of going […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[493,6],"class_list":["post-1086","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-zach-stories","tag-movies","tag-zach"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thezachproject.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1086","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thezachproject.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thezachproject.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thezachproject.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thezachproject.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1086"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/thezachproject.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1086\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1088,"href":"https:\/\/thezachproject.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1086\/revisions\/1088"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thezachproject.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1086"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thezachproject.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1086"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thezachproject.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1086"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}