After the birthday party Sunday I took the family out to dinner at Ted’s. We were just getting ready to go when Ashley said something about Rosalie writing her name. I grabbed the ticket and turned it over. This is what Rosalie wrote:
The better formed ‘e’s on the left and the upright ‘R’ is Ashley. Everything else was Rosalie. I particularly love the ‘s’.
Well, we had a fine day yesterday. Jeremy had to be at work at 3 so we were going to spend the earlier part of the day in Atlanta. Rosalie had the choice of what to do and she chose the aquarium. We all drove into Atlanta and went to the Georgia Aquarium.
We saw sea lions, river otters, turtles, whale sharks, manta rays, penguins, sea dragons, jellies, clownfish, piranhas, sea stars, moray eels and many other denizens of the deep. Just as we got inside, the attendants were encouraging to get in to the dolphin show which was about to begin. Rosalie declined, saying she wanted to see the starfish instead. It took a while, but we did eventually see the star fish. In fact, she got to touch a star fish, along with an anemone!
Maybe I’ve been living a sheltered life, but man, was it expensive! Over $100 for two adults and a child! We knew going in that we were only going to spend a couple of hours but there is no option for a short stay. As often happens in that situation, you have to decide if you’re likely to come back within a year and thus spring for the membership. Two visits would cost more than the membership but Jeremy wasn’t sure they’d be coming back that soon.
At about the two hour mark, Rosalie started showing more interest in climbing on the faux rocks than looking at more sea creatures so we left to go find lunch. Jeremy took us to Fox Bros. Barbeque which was fine.
We had a little extra time after that so on the way to the station we went to Delia’s Chicken Sausage Stand. Not for chicken sausage but for ‘cake shakes’ – sort of a milkshake made with a cupcake.
At the station we said hello to the other firemen and ate our cake shake, then said goodbye to Jeremy and went out into the traffic. Jeremy had said that every minute counted on Friday afternoons after 2 but I didn’t really take him that seriously. Big mistake.
Then I compounded that mistake with a bigger one. I mixed up I-75 and 85 and took the wrong one out of town. They both go north but 75 is more to the west whereas we should have gone on 85 which goes more towards the east (and Lawrencville). By the time I figured it out I had to go back on the ring road I-285 for 12 miles extra. It added probably 45 minutes to our trip which meant that from Jeremy’s station to home yesterday took two hours. As you might imagine, most of it was spent creeping along in a long line of cars and trucks. Lots of trucks, lots of big trucks especially. You’d think they’d find a way to travel through town at other times.
Finally at home, Ashley had dinner ready for us and we ate, read books, sang songs and went to bed. Big day!
Today I asked Ashley to take Rosalie to school. Jeremy was due home this morning and was going to need to sleep. He had an actual fire yesterday – very rare. Since Jeremy became a firefighter I’ve learned that the bulk of what they do are medical calls. Important, but not what they got into the business for.
Anyway, Jeremy got home and is sleeping now. We will go to get Rosalie when he wakes up. He has a game to referee tonight so he will miss dinner with us. I’ve chosen to not go since it is just a Jr. High game. I did get to see him ref the last half of his high school game Tuesday night.
Yesterday with just Rosalie and me was fun. She can play independently if she wants to. Yesterday she mostly didn’t want to. Having Grandpa around is something special evidently.
An odd thing happened though. I was nearly asleep on my feet at least twice during the day and yet after she went to bed around 8 and I did the same I couldn’t sleep. I thought for sure I wasn’t going to need a pill but after a couple of hours of tossing and turning I gave up and took one. This was one of the generic Unisoms that have kicked my ass before so I’ve started taking only half a pill. With half a pill I woke up to pee once about 2:30 then got right back to sleep. I have a dim memory of hearing Rosalie making noises about 6:45 and I remember hearing the garage door when they left but I couldn’t move. About 8 I woke up again and was able to get up but I was really loopy for another 45 minutes. I’m going to go real easy on those from now on.
The other style of sleeping pills I have is generic Benadryl. That has a hangover but not nearly so bad. Sometimes I take the ones with ibuprofen.
So Jeremy has another game tonight and will miss dinner with us. He had to take some time off for a referee association meeting Sunday and has to pay his substitute back tomorrow. That means going on duty at the fire station at 6 Friday night and working until 7 am Sunday morning. Hopefully there won’t be too many calls so he can sleep some. The first time all four of us will be together will be Sunday. I haven’t thought to ask what time but sometime that day all the Hall relatives will be over for a birthday party for Rosalie. Some of her school friends will be coming too.
Jeremy and Ashley are working hard to realize their dream of moving to the west coast, specifically Washington. So far Jeremy has been unsuccessful in convincing Washington fire departments of his quality. It may come down to a leap of faith. Stay tuned.
This is a test post from Georgia. I’m using my old iPad. I’ve gotten to spend the day with Rosalie – yay! She’s napping now, I hope. I was going to nap as well but the yard guy showed up with his noisy tools.
So I’m trying this. I brought along the admin password but didn’t think about the login address. It took a few tries but I finally figured it out.
Not even a week ago I put up a post with this same title. Today is the actual day and only a couple of hours after the time one year ago that Zach was killed. About this time on the west coast, phones were starting to ring with the unbelievable news. For me it was Jeremy who gave me the bald facts, then wailed, ‘My brother is dead!‘
I saw many nice tributes on Facebook this evening. Zach is not forgotten by anyone who came into contact with him. His two handed handshake that I was told is known amongst his friends as ‘The Wood.’ He told me once he read that the second hand assured that the person would remember you so that’s why he did it. Little did I know how so many would have to remember him and why.
For myself, I’m kind of empty tonight. I’m tired from a tough day physically at work and I have to get up early for a plane flight tomorrow. Happily the plane flight is to Georgia where I will drink in the elixir that is Rosalie. Sometime this week, Jeremy and I will hoist one for Zach. Maybe we’ll cry together or maybe we won’t but we will surely gather strength from each others presence.
On the Tuesday of that week, the Baton Rouge Police called us to say they were through gathering evidence from the bike and we could come and get it. Not really knowing what to expect, I went over there. The bike was completely trashed but I took it anyway because I didn’t know what else to do. The next day I set it out by the road in front of his car.
If you look carefully, you can see some of the marks on the road where the truck came to a stop with Zach underneath it. We left town somewhat hurriedly (I thought) that Saturday to get up to Michigan for a celebration there and I forgot to do anything about the bike. Today his roommate Micah posted this picture. He didn’t say and I can’t really tell, but it looks like it’s in their garage.
Veteran’s Day. I’ve been out on Facebook already this morning and seen this phrase, or variations of it, quite a few times. So I’ve got something to say about that and being that this is my blog, darn it, I’m going to say it.
Veteran’s Day and Memorial Day are when this sentiment gets thrown around the most, but we see many other examples throughout the year of this. I think it was one or two Sundays ago that I noticed the NFL football games had some kind of ‘Thank you for your service’ theme. For the most part I just let it slide but today I’m going to rant about it.
What bugs me is that the implication of this phrase is that it is referring to the military performing some kind of ‘service’ that is worthy of this kind of adulation. We’ve been set up to think that this is a superior kind of service to our country. Yes, men and women in the military have sacrificed their lives and limbs in war. But we have to recognize that there are other forms of service that are just as valid. Is Jeremy performing less of a service to our country by being a firefighter and never having been in the military? Is Ashley or Jane performing less of a service to our country by teaching our children and never having been in the military? Is Teresa performing less of a service to our country by being a nurse and never having been in the military? No.
And there are many people who do time in the military who are never near the front lines and whose lives are never in any more danger than any other American. My uncle Pat was in the Army during World War II and he drove a supply truck behind the lines. My brother Tim served in the Army during the first Gulf War. He went to Iraq and was a guard at a prison compound. As far as I know, he never fired a shot in anger nor was he ever shot at by enemy troops. Tim, if I got this wrong, please tell me.
The point is that while the military is an organization designed to kill people for the state, the part that actually does the killing is relatively small. And nowadays we have soldiers sitting in air conditioned room playing video games (running drones) for their service – killing people for the state.
So I think we should talk about what service we really want to value in our country. I remember reading about the ancient Greek city states in school. Athens, where democracy reigned supreme, and warlike Sparta, where everyone was a soldier. My takeaway from that was that ultimately Sparta failed because democracy was good and war was bad. Now here in America we have a kind of democracy but we are also very war like. It pains me that we don’t value forms of service to our country that don’t involve killing people or blowing things up.
Jeremy, Ashley, Jane, Teresa, thank you for your service!
I went home through Half Moon Bay today on my way back from my therapist. It’s a little longer but I get to feel the ocean even if I don’t get to see it very well. Today was very warm and was still warm at the coast with an onshore breeze. (For those reading this not living near me, please know that ‘warm’ here means over 70° F!)
I wasn’t going to stop but at Montara I caught a glimpse of the big waves rolling in so when I got to the south end of Devil’s Slide I pulled into the parking lot. All I did was stand there overlooking Zach’s rock and that cool little cove and watch the 15 foot waves smash into it and bounce around the cove for about ten minutes, feeling the warm breeze at my back.
I need to do this more often! No pictures from today but here’s one from a couple of years ago on a much calmer day. Today this entire cove was foam. Zach’s rock is at the top corner.
The first anniversary of Zach’s death is coming up. I’ve spoken before about how the 14th of each month was an important day of remembrance in the early times. Now the true anniversary is upon us. At one time I was planning a complete review of the events of that evening. Now I don’t think that’s going to happen. It won’t happen in the next week anyway. I do still intend to do that but it will come out in its own time.
My therapist commented that there are many examples of humans treating the first year after a death as particularly important. My feelings today are not any different than what I posted a couple of days ago so I won’t belabor the point.
Before last November 14th, life had a certain kind of meaning that seemed self evident. Those ideas were shattered and this blog is a testament to the difficulty of picking up the pieces, to reconstruct meaning.
My therapist early on suggested that I read Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning but after a few more sessions said I should wait. That was in the summer when I was depressed. I will ask her about it today but I know that meaning must come from within not without so I will continue to look – and think – on my own.
This blog is never going to be a political blog, but politics affects us in all parts of our lives, whether we like it or not. Time will tell if last night’s results are historic or a blip. I feel that it is neither. Conservatives have been trying desperately for decades to reverse trends that may be irreversible but they have been spectacularly successful. Liberals, or progressives as I like to characterize myself, have tended to feel that their goals are so good that they are self evident and have so far not gone to the mat to defend or promote them.
I spent a few minutes this morning going through Facebook and reading the wails of despair. For the most part I agree with them but I believe we all have to recognize that there are lots of people who don’t see the world as we do. With social media such as Facebook, it is easy to select sources of information that reflect our biases. After a while, we come to believe that reality.
I will post a link to this post on Facebook because it is the best way to publicize my blog and I want more people to think on the human issues I speak to. I call on everyone to make the effort to broaden their horizons and reach out to people – enemies even! – and make common cause with their humanity.
Does one call it a ‘sculpture’? Or a ‘display’? Or a memorial?
Whatever you call it, I found it very moving and wrote about it last week here. I promised I would take a better picture so here it is:
After the concert day Saturday there were a lot more names on it.
I don’t know what the little flag things are called but they are beautiful. I filched some small ones yesterday and put them in my own little memorial:
