I went back and looked at some of Zach’s journal entries the other day. They resonate differently from how they felt six months ago. Am I changing or is the memory of Zach the flesh and blood person dimming? Maybe it was just that particular entry that struck me differently.
More generally, it started me thinking about how we are remembered. Once there were paintings, then photographs and now videos for images but throughout it all there has been writing. And writing, unlike images, requires the person to take active steps to create those memories. (We’ll set aside self portraits for now.)
I had reached out to my nephew Steve the other day about his blog that I remembered but didn’t have saved anywhere. He got back to me with the link and said he still went back and read it to see what kind of person he was then. Well, I think it’s too bad he’s not keeping it up, but that’s not the point. We write to be remembered – by ourselves and by others. Steve hasn’t taken the blog down. I spent a few minutes looking through some of the last entries. He’s moved on to other things I suppose. (Actually he’s a brilliant videographer. See his website at http://thedigitalagent.com/)
I’ve written a lot over the years. I generally have written more when I travel than when I’m at home so I’ve got lots of good records of that. When the kids were little I kept journals of their doings. Some of my more recent musings have been on the computer. Will the paper or the electron last longer? My bet is on the electron although there are issues with that as well.
I know I’d sure like it if my grandfather had written more. My mother has a couple of things he wrote but it’s only tantalizing. I can remember him but what about when I’m gone? A few fading photos like some others that I have. They’re of families – ancestors – but I don’t know who they are.
To be continued . . .
Here’s Steve’s blog address (last entry 2010!): http://backseatmusings.blogspot.com/
Hi Brother! I have kept a journal on and off since 3rd grade! Of late, though, I have not been inspired to write. I like reading for relaxation better, and maybe I want to ignore the inner workings of my mind, which is what journaling usually gets to. Plus it takes a bit of time, so generally gets relegated to summer vacation records. Sometimes I wonder what people will think if it’s read years after I’m gone. I’m not sure that’s exciting or embarrassing. I enjoy reading Mom’s letters to Grandma. I have several originals that she shared with me. I think the historical content is valuable, and it is a little window into Mom’s world as it was then. I like that she and I have some similarities. Do you sometimes read things in Zach’s journal that you wish you hadn’t?
I don’t know if I’d go that far. Some things Zach wrote are troubling to me but I’ve been reading his journals to see what he was thinking. I have to remember that he almost certainly never meant for anyone else to read them. I think it was his form of mental discipline, like playing scales for a musician.
I thought at one point I would publish them, either in toto or in large pieces. Now I’m not so sure, not so much because of what is in them but out of respect to his (presumed) intentions. OTOH, if there is interest, these things can happen. I will post on this topic again.
I don’t think I would publish them. They were written originally to be private. Maybe bits of it.
Hope you’re feeling good.
Jane