Tag Archives: Rosalie

Rosalie’s gifts

I had one gift in mind when I wrote that title since the two items came in one box. After I wrote it, though, I thought of the larger sense of it. Rosalie’s gifts are many!

But today I am speaking of two gifts that came in one box about a week ago. A coffee (or, in my case, tea) mug and a little ‘Z’, also ceramic.

The mug has ‘I ♥ Grandpa’ worked into it. The base color is white but there are colors spread around on it by a young hand. In fact, the hand itself is well represented on the side opposite the slogan. On the bottom are the letters ‘AR’. What? Well, Jeremy told me that they asked Rosalie to write her name on the bottom. That would be tough for anyone using a finger full of paint. She managed the R and the A. OK!

The ‘Z’ I thought was commercial but Jeremy told me she decorated it as well. It is black with red polka dots. It’s from the same font as the ‘Z’s on magnetic paper that Mary Beth first came up with (and the logo for this blog).

My first thought was to hang it up in my apartment so I could see it someplace where there wasn’t already a magnetic ‘Z’. But before I got to that it was sitting on my table or on the kitchen counter and I liked the feel of it as I moved it about.

So I gave up on the hanging idea and now leave it in places where I will see it every day. I pick it up and roll it in my hand and think of Zach and Rosalie.

Thank you, Rosalie!

good things – people mostly

This past year has been one of much sadness and tears. On top of that, I’ve never been a fan of the Christmas season. The days are shorter and the ubiquitous ‘buy’ messages everywhere are cloaked in false bonhomie. Feh.

So it was with a bit of surprise the other day when I found myself thinking of all the good things that are in my life now. Jeremy, Sarah, Ashley, Rosalie, Noah, Mom & Dad. Teresa and Jane, my two sisters who live nearby and keep checking on me. Tom, Mary and Tim, my brothers and sister who live further away but I treasure them as well. Rose, my neighbor who is also my best friend. Allyson and Dave, Noah’s Mom & Dad.

Work is going ok, too. I got through SoundBox with only a couple of glitches and the show got great reviews. There is a great group of Local 16 people that I get to work with at Davies Symphony Hall. All are competent and congenial. I hate to name names because I would leave someone out but Hal and Gus are my long-time compatriots in the Sound Department and extra special to me. JJ, the unquestioned head of Davies stagehands, always willing to share his knowledge. In management, Michele stands out among many fine people.

Of course, many of these people were in my life before Zach was killed but the experience of losing him has made that which is left more precious.  Merry Christmas!

celebrating Zach

Zach would have been 28 today. One year ago today, about 100 people gathered in San Francisco to celebrate his life. Every time I had to refer to the gatherings we had a year ago, I kind of choked on the word ‘celebrate’. We celebrate birthdays, we celebrate graduations, we celebrate weddings. We celebrate happy things, in my world. At least in my world before November 14th last year.

Now we gather to celebrate a life, but it’s a life that has ended. It doesn’t seem right.

I’ve said when I visit Rosalie, she shows me how to celebrate life. She lives life. The world is her oyster and she’s discovering something new every day. It was tremendously inspiring to be near her. (Remember, this is a grandparent that lives 3000 miles away talking. I don’t have to deal with the day to day hassles, the illnesses, the sulks.)

This blog is my celebration of Zach’s life. Like Rosalie, it is living. It’s not about Zach, per se, but inspired by Zach, by his discipline, and hopefully by his ability to see all sides of a point.

I remember when Zach told me he had been writing 75-80,000 word a year in a journal. I was impressed, but now that I’ve read much of it and I’ve tried myself to write on a regular basis, I’m in awe. I believe it was his housemate Jake who told me, back in the spring, that they had left his desk as it was as a testament to his work ethic and as an inspiration to him and Micah.

Through us, Zach lives. Happy birthday, son.

my week

I’m going to try to just describe my week.

Last Sunday morning I was still in Georgia. In the afternoon, we had Rosalie’s party. All of the Hall’s except for Lauren were there along with three of Rosalie’s chums from school. 2year old Parker Hall was another little one. The party started conventionally enough with people arriving and setting gifts on the hearth. Ashley and Rosalie had spent a lot of time preparing fairy houses which were set outside so soon we were all out in the back yard. The little plastic ball – perfect for kicking around the yard – and the swing set, however, proved to be more of a draw than fairy houses. It was cool and windy so sitting quietly outside was not optimal.

After a while we were back inside and Ashley brought out the strawberry and carrot cake cupcakes for everyone. Rosalie chose a strawberry one for her candles. The room became very quiet as the eating of the cupcakes proceeded.

Then it was out to the living room and the opening of presents. Rosalie went into full Christmas morning mode, ripping presents open and turning immediately to another one. I’m sure she’ll appreciate them eventually! Soon the balloons for all beckoned and before long the children were chasing each other in a circle through the dining room, the kitchen and the living room shrieking. This went on for at least 20 minutes (I wasn’t watching a clock). One balloon popped and another was lost (it later turned up behind the toilet in the bathroom) but no one was hurt or even had hurt feelings.

After everyone left, we cleaned up and went out to Ted’s for dinner.

Back at home, I explained to Rosalie at bedtime that I had to leave early in the morning to go home. We sang one more song with the guitar and she went to sleep. In the morning I went into her room and said goodbye again but she wasn’t really awake. Jeremy took me to the airport and we had some good talk on the way. His dream of moving back out west is very close. I told him I would be available to help him do the move if it happens.

Air travel. It’s like democracy: it’s terrible but the alternatives are worse. I’d love to be able to relax on a bus or a train across country but that would be time better spent with Rosalie so I fly.

At home Monday afternoon I tried to rest and then went to jazz band in the evening. Before leaving, I had told JJ that I was available for the Berlin Philharmonic Tuesday and Wednesday nights. He sent me an email confirming that along with the request that I come in for maintenance projects on both days. Oh well, I just had a week off and I have 5 days off following that. But those were long days: 9 am to 10:30 the first day and 9 am to midnight the second.

Thursday was Thanksgiving and the Woods were to gather in Santa Clara as is our tradition. It was also my birthday so Rose came over early with a birthday gift. We got down to Santa Clara a little before noon and set out food and started to eat. The day was fine and low key. Happy birthday was sung after dinner but otherwise there were no references to aging. I really pooped out about 8 and was back on my way home by 9.

Friday was laundry day and then a return to Santa Clara. Several people were there from out of town and were leaving Saturday so I made the effort to spend more time with them. Sarah had stayed there and wanted to go to The Starving Musician to look at violins. She asked me if I wanted to go with her.

Now, I had been to this music store many times. It’s a guitar shop in my mind. They have guitars, basses, amplifiers, keyboards, and drums in the main showroom pretty much like any other music store. I had noticed the little room for band instruments in the back before but Sarah told me she had been in there a couple of years earlier and seen some violins. She remembered one of them was pretty good and she wanted to see if it was still there. She needed an inexpensive instrument to teach with as her main fiddle had gotten damaged recently by a careless student.

It turned out there was a whole violin showroom – small, but nicely finished – upstairs in the back! Sarah spent a happy couple of hours going through the 50 or so instruments and chatting with the owner/luthier about arcane details of each one. We left with two on evaluation. She will take them back in a week or so. Depending on the opinions of various friends who know things, she may buy one.

That evening at dinner, Jane led the conversation by asking our Aunt Kathleen lots of questions about her journey into the sisterhood. I like to call her Kathleen but she really prefers Pieta. Technically she is Sister Pieta but she’s still our Aunt Kathleen. Pieta is 89 and my mother’s older sister. She’s been out in California since the 15th. We younger ones learned a lot about her life from 1945, when she graduated high school and went into an Army nursing program, until 1950 when she went into the nunnery. There was much more, of course, all very interesting. Pieta’s choice of name is very apt: she is deeply religious and serene but also down to earth so talking with her is always easy.

At the end of the evening, Sarah asked me if she could come stay at my house that night. Of course I said yes. We got the futon set up and then ended up talking Chinese philosophy for an hour or so. She had a copy of the Tao te Ching that she had gotten for Zach originally. I had brought up Chuang Tzu at the dinner table when Dad had spoken of his visit to the Abbey of Gethsemane while he was in college. Thomas Merton was famously in residence there at the time. I commented that Merton wrote a book of Chuang Tzu stories set as poetry which I had in my library. I read a couple of them to Sarah. We talked about the pros and cons of setting goals and striving for them and whether I was happy with my life choices.

In the morning, we were slow to get up but eventually we got out for breakfast at the Chit Chat where we ate and drank our tea watching rain squalls over the mighty Pacific Ocean out the window. I still didn’t have the energy for anything outdoors so we settled on going to a movie for the afternoon. We saw Arrival, which I thought was very interesting. As with any science fiction, one needs a willing suspension of disbelief but the story hung together reasonably well. It is based, so the credits say, on The Story of Your Life by Ted Chiang. I had actually noted that when I saw the trailer a month or so ago so I’ve really got to do it now.

Sarah headed home after the movie and I did the same. There were a lot of cut up vegetables left over from Thursday so I did a stir fry and Rose joined me for dinner and glass of wine. Her ribs are still bothering her so we parted with a gentle hug and I went straight to bed.

Today I have another trip to Santa Clara for lunch with Charlie Centofante after which I will again go to see Mom and Dad and say goodbye to Aunt Kathleen.

Rosalie’s signature

After the birthday party Sunday I took the family out to dinner at Ted’s. We were just getting ready to go when Ashley said something about Rosalie writing her name. I grabbed the ticket and turned it over. This is what Rosalie wrote:

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The better formed ‘e’s on the left and the upright ‘R’ is Ashley. Everything else was Rosalie. I particularly love the ‘s’.

The aquarium

Well, we had a fine day yesterday. Jeremy had to be at work at 3 so we were going to spend the earlier part of the day in Atlanta. Rosalie had the choice of what to do and she chose the aquarium. We all drove into Atlanta and went to the Georgia Aquarium.

We saw sea lions, river otters, turtles, whale sharks, manta rays, penguins, sea dragons, jellies, clownfish, piranhas, sea stars, moray eels and many other denizens of the deep. Just as we got inside, the attendants were encouraging to get in to the dolphin show which was about to begin. Rosalie declined, saying she wanted to see the starfish instead. It took a while, but we did eventually see the star fish. In fact, she got to touch a star fish, along with an anemone!

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Maybe I’ve been living a sheltered life, but man, was it expensive! Over $100 for two adults and a child! We knew going in that we were only going to spend a couple of hours but there is no option for a short stay. As often happens in that situation, you have to decide if you’re likely to come back within a year and thus spring for the membership. Two visits would cost more than the membership but Jeremy wasn’t sure they’d be coming back that soon.

At about the two hour mark, Rosalie started showing more interest in climbing on the faux rocks than looking at more sea creatures so we left to go find lunch. Jeremy took us to Fox Bros. Barbeque which was fine.

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We had a little extra time after that so on the way to the station we went to Delia’s Chicken Sausage Stand. Not for chicken sausage but for ‘cake shakes’ – sort of a milkshake made with a cupcake.

At the station we said hello to the other firemen and ate our cake shake, then said goodbye to Jeremy and went out into the traffic. Jeremy had said that every minute counted on Friday afternoons after 2 but I didn’t really take him that seriously. Big mistake.

Then I compounded that mistake with a bigger one. I mixed up I-75 and 85 and took the wrong one out of town. They both go north but 75 is more to the west whereas we should have gone on 85 which goes more towards the east (and Lawrencville). By the time I figured it out I had to go back on the ring road I-285 for 12 miles extra. It added probably 45 minutes to our trip which meant that from Jeremy’s station to home yesterday took two hours. As you might imagine, most of it was spent creeping along in a long line of cars and trucks. Lots of trucks, lots of big trucks especially. You’d think they’d find a way to travel through town at other times.

Finally at home, Ashley had dinner ready for us and we ate, read books, sang songs and went to bed. Big day!

Travelogue

Today I asked Ashley to take Rosalie to school. Jeremy was due home this morning and was going to need to sleep. He had an actual fire yesterday – very rare. Since Jeremy became a firefighter I’ve learned that the bulk of what they do are medical calls. Important, but not what they got into the business for.

Anyway, Jeremy got home and is sleeping now. We will go to get Rosalie when he wakes up. He has a game to referee tonight so he will miss dinner with us. I’ve chosen to not go since it is just a Jr. High game. I did get to see him ref the last half of his high school game Tuesday night.

Yesterday with just Rosalie and me was fun. She can play independently if she wants to. Yesterday she mostly didn’t want to. Having Grandpa around is something special evidently.

An odd thing happened though. I was nearly asleep on my feet at least twice during the day and yet after she went to bed around 8 and I did the same I couldn’t sleep. I thought for sure I wasn’t going to need a pill but after a couple of hours of tossing and turning I gave up and took one. This was one of the generic Unisoms that have kicked my ass before so I’ve started taking only half a pill. With half a pill I woke up to pee once about 2:30 then got right back to sleep. I have a dim memory of hearing Rosalie making noises about 6:45 and I remember hearing the garage door when they left but I couldn’t move. About 8 I woke up again and was able to get up but I was really loopy for another 45 minutes. I’m going to go real easy on those from now on.

The other style of sleeping pills I have is generic Benadryl. That has a hangover but not nearly so bad. Sometimes I take the ones with ibuprofen.

So Jeremy has another game tonight and will miss dinner with us. He had to take some time off for a referee association meeting Sunday and has to pay his substitute back tomorrow. That means going on duty at the fire station at 6 Friday night and working until 7 am Sunday morning. Hopefully there won’t be too many calls so he can sleep some. The first time all four of us will be together will be Sunday. I haven’t thought to ask what time but sometime that day all the Hall relatives will be over for a birthday party for Rosalie. Some of her school friends will be coming too.

Jeremy and Ashley are working hard to realize their dream of moving to the west coast, specifically Washington. So far Jeremy has been unsuccessful in convincing Washington fire departments of his quality. It may come down to a leap of faith. Stay tuned.

Georgia

This is a test post from Georgia. I’m using my old iPad. I’ve gotten to spend the day with Rosalie – yay! She’s napping now, I hope. I was going to nap as well but the yard guy showed up with his noisy tools.

So I’m trying this. I brought along the admin password but didn’t think about the login address. It took a few tries but I finally figured it out.

anniversary

Not even a week ago I put up a post with this same title. Today is the actual day and only a couple of hours after the time one year ago that Zach was killed. About this time on the west coast, phones were starting to ring with the unbelievable news. For me it was Jeremy who gave me the bald facts, then wailed, ‘My brother is dead!

I saw many nice tributes on Facebook this evening. Zach is not forgotten by anyone who came into contact with him. His two handed handshake that I was told is known amongst his friends as ‘The Wood.’ He told me once he read that the second hand assured that the person would remember you so that’s why he did it. Little did I know how so many would have to remember him and why.

For myself, I’m kind of empty tonight. I’m tired from a tough day physically at work and I have to get up early for a plane flight tomorrow. Happily the plane flight is to Georgia where I will drink in the elixir that is Rosalie.  Sometime this week, Jeremy and I will hoist one for Zach. Maybe we’ll cry together or maybe we won’t but we will surely gather strength from each others presence.

On the Tuesday of that week, the Baton Rouge Police called us to say they were through gathering evidence from the bike and we could come and get it. Not really knowing what to expect, I went over there. The bike was completely trashed but I took it anyway because I didn’t know what else to do. The next day I set it out by the road in front of his car.

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If you look carefully, you can see some of the marks on the road where the truck came to a stop with Zach underneath it. We left town somewhat hurriedly (I thought) that Saturday to get up to Michigan for a celebration there and I forgot to do anything about the bike. Today his roommate Micah posted this picture. He didn’t say and I can’t really tell, but it looks like it’s in their garage.

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Zach’s journals

I read some of Zach’s journals today, after my ‘legacy’ post. I found I could read them without an inordinate amount of sadness. I’m a little more removed from the last time I was reading them seven or eight months ago. Today I wasn’t dwelling on the content so much as just appreciating that they’re there and marveling at the spirit that wrote them.

I’m not going to quote anything today. It’s either a lot or nothing and today will be nothing. I still think occasionally about the state of my apartment or bedroom when I go out for the day and wonder if I never come back what people might think about me. Those of us living have to go on living, though. We can’t always be thinking about our deaths. It will come when it comes.

I’ll call it the lesson of Rosalie. Live now!