• Home
  • Posts
  • Tag cloud
  • Zach basics
  • Contact me

the last time I saw Zach

  • Family
  • Zach Stories

I don’t know why, but I woke up this morning thinking about the last time I saw Zach. It wasn’t really Zach at that point. It was just his body.

We were at the funeral home on the Tuesday afternoon of that week in Baton Rouge. For some reason, I don’t remember Sarah but I remember Jeremy being there. Zach was lying up at the front of the little chapel and there was a railing with a kneeler in front of it. I didn’t kneel, but I touched Zach’s lower leg and I remember thinking that it felt like him: solid and muscular. I don’t know anything about rigor mortis and I certainly wasn’t thinking about it then. Maybe it was just rigor mortis.

Of course, I looked at his face and I thought it was odd that they had put a bunch of pancake makeup on him. It was much later that I saw the police photos of the accident scene and I realized how horrific the injury to his head had been.

I didn’t feel any need to pray over his body or ‘say goodbye’ or anything like that. I wanted to touch him to convince myself it was all real. Emily was towards the back of the chapel with her mother and sisters. We would have been meeting in California in about a month’s time but I went back there and introduced myself and we all talked quietly.

At one point, I remember looking up to the front and saw Jeremy kneeling there and I thought maybe I should go and do that too. But I didn’t want to interrupt him and later people starting moving to leave. I don’t remember where we were going. We certainly weren’t rushed by the funeral home but a consensus seemed to develop that we were done.

The next day we went back and got the ashes.

I had them at my apartment for a long time. I believe I wrote about that. It wasn’t Zach – neither was the body – but it was the closest I had. Now ‘he’ is here:

In the end it’s all memories, which is why I write here. Our oral tradition is pretty much gone unless you count videos. There’s a chance these memories will survive for Rosalie and Noah and maybe their children to read and know a little bit about their ancestors. I know I would have eagerly read stories from my grandparents and great-grandparents. Eventually, their world recedes but their personalities would have shone through, I believe.

 

Baton Rouge Emily Jeremy Noah Rosalie Sarah Zach
May 13, 2020 Chris

Post navigation

oral traditions → ← memories

2 thoughts on “the last time I saw Zach”

  1. Tom Kent says:
    May 14, 2020 at 2:16 pm

    Chris,
    Many memories are painful, and our natural inclination is to try and push them away. You are a better and healthier for keeping them at the top of your consciousness. There is never a timeline for healing. And healing is never complete on this side. Eventually we come to some kind of acceptance; but, it doesn’t mean we forget. Stay safe, my friend. Let’s have another phone call.

    Reply
  2. Sepi Wood says:
    June 3, 2020 at 8:26 am

    Love listening to you and your memories of Zach. So tender and loving. I know you loved your son and I am glad you talk with me about him. He is live in you thru your sweet memories of him. He was a giant of a man! Thanks for sharing. I wonder what he would talk and write about this 2020 SIP and the events we are seeing in our country.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Categories

  • Books
  • Family
  • Goals
  • Health
  • Life as we know it
  • Music
  • Nuts and bolts
  • Personal History
  • Politics
  • Travel
  • Uncategorized
  • Work
  • Zach Stories

Search

Copyright Notice

All content © 2016-2025
Christopher J. Wood
All Rights Reserved

May 2020
S M T W T F S
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31  
« Apr   Jun »

Archives

  • April 2025
  • March 2025
  • February 2025
  • January 2025
  • December 2024
  • November 2024
  • October 2024
  • September 2024
  • July 2024
  • June 2024
  • February 2024
  • November 2023
  • October 2023
  • July 2023
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • December 2021
  • October 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • September 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • November 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
Powered by WordPress | theme cats456